Broke up with my girlfriend of 2 Years, a few months later I realized what a mistake this was and wanted to get back together with her.
We're best friends at the moment, have been ever since the breakup and even before we were dating, she trusts me with a lot of her life's problems, but I feel like I'm becoming an Agony Aunt friend rather than any potential love interest.
To make matters worse, she recently told me all about this other guy she likes, he's a bit older than me, but the problem is that he lives Hundreds of Miles away, whereas I live not too far away at all.
I know a lot of you at the moment are probably thinking ';Well, just tell her how you feel man!';
Well, problem here is that I've already tried that, on a few occasions.
First time, she told me she wasn't sure how she felt, and needed more time. And after a lot of hanging out and having fun in the months to come, it did seem like we were going to get back together.
Then that kinda just stopped.
So, a few months after that, I asked her about it, and told her I still felt the same way about her, to which she then told me she just wanted us to be friends (The usual 'Just friends' talk), but said I was still her best friend.
It's been about half a year/8-9 months since then....
Now with this new guy around that she likes, I have a few options.
1. Stay with her, strengthen our friendship and see if it'll eventually turn into something more. (Has this ever worked?)
2. Get out of the Friend Zone, start dating other girls and not being so much of a best friend to this girl, only then will she see you as a love interest again. (I've been told this one a few times...)
3. Tell her how I feel once again, let her know that I love her. (Can't see her reacting any differently than last time at the moment...although it's been a while.)
Thanks for any advise/help.How to get back ex-girlfriend if already in ';Best Friend'; zone?
A lot of people believe that there are ways for getting your ex back!
There are some things you can do or not do that will increase your chances of getting back your ex.
Here is a great website on how to get your ex back. Check it out if you want to: http://www.exbackguides.com/How to get back ex-girlfriend if already in ';Best Friend'; zone?
Yeah I think number 2 is ur best shot. Number 1 she will just have her cake and 4 eat it too bc u will be there when she wants and away when she doestn want and u are the one suffering with hearing about her dude and whatnot. And number 3 u already done on several occasions. If she sees u with other girls she may get jealous and want u back =) Give it a shot what do u have to lose? Only something to gain...maybe! Good luck
Ouch I feel ya. The best option is 2. and this is how to do it!:
step 1- Change Your Actions
There’s something you probably never realized...
The reason that you’re friends (and not intimate) with this girl is DIRECTLY related to the things that you did when you first met her. As your relationship developed, you made her look at you like a buddy, NOT as a sexual being.
In order change her opinion, you need to “shake things up” a bit! This means ELIMINATING the specific actions that initially pushed you into the ‘friends zone’. For instance, here are a few things you need to STOP doing immediately:
• Calling her all the time
• Listening to her talk about her guy problems
• Taking her on ‘pseudo’ dates
• Putting her needs in front of yours
• Being the shoulder she can always cry on
You might think this is a bit drastic, but remember we’re trying to completely shift the nature of your relationship. So, it’s necessary to have her completely change the way she thinks of you.
The key is to do these things without coming across as a complete asshole. What I suggest is to simply become “really busy” in your life. Don’t completely blow her off, but let her know that you need to take care of some things for awhile.
Which brings us to the next phase of this plan...
Step 2- Transform Yourself
Now that we’ve removed yourself from her immediate radar, you’re going to work on becoming the kind of person she would find sexually enticing. Whereas you were once her “emotional tampon”, you’ll now become someone who she WANTS to date.
This means creating an attractive lifestyle where she can’t help but be drawn to you!
First, start doing stuff that makes YOU happy. I’ve found that an infatuation with a particular woman often stems from not having a lot going on with your life. By engaging in activities that are fun, you’ll start to gain a broader perspective on this particular woman.
Perhaps she might even be as great as you once thought!
Next, you should start hanging out with more women. This is another action that’ll give an idea of what else is out there. For all you know, there might be someone who is MUCH better than this girl.
Finally after a few weeks, even months, you want to reconnect with your female friend. Call her up and talk about some of the things that you’ve done with yourself. (Hopefully you’ll have a lot of stories that’ll pique her interest).
Furthermore, you want to vaguely mention a few of the women that are in your life. Don’t brag, just casually mention a few new “friends” that you now have. Trust me, this will make her feel just a *little* jealous.
Now once you’re on the phone, make a suggestion to “hang out” sometime. This leads us to the next (and final) phase...
Step 3- Sealing the Deal
The key to a successful meeting (or date) is to do something that’ll connect to the emotional (not logical) side of her brain. You want to bring her somewhere where you she’ll connect the positive feelings to being around you.
So forget all thoughts of a boring activity like a dinner or movie!
Instead you want to bring her somewhere that’ll elevate her mood and make her feel excited! Remember FUN is directly connected to AROUSAL.
For instance, you can bring to places like an amusement park, dancing, exercising, working out, engaging in a sport, watching an exciting athletic game, doing something risky/dangerous, or going to a fun concert.
All of these ideas are great for getting her to move around and arousing the emotional side of her brain.
Now when you’re with her, you want to focus on creating SEXUAL TENSION. Rather than being the predictable, sexless man she once knew, you’re acting like a potential lover.
This means flirting, teasing her, playfully touching her and having fun. These actions are critical because you want her to see you in a completely new light. And since she is already having fun, she’s not going to be in a position where she worries about “ruining your friendship”.
She’ll no longer see you as a friend. You’ll be the exciting guy who can elevate her positive emotions. And at this point, things will naturally evolve into a more “intimate” relationship.
This three-step plan is incredibly effective because it avoids the awkward conversation that some guys feel is the “only” way to change the nature of a relationship. Rather than forcing her to make a decision, you’re subtly altering her opinion of you in a way that’s
connecting to her emotional states instead of her logic.
Good luck!
Check out this website. I bought the guide when i was desparately trying to get back with my ex. I would never buy something like that in a ';normal state'; thinking its a bull$HIT but i am glad i bought it. Its actually very helpful and usng the ';female psychology tricks'; I did get back with my ex girlfriend and we are still together :)
Oh almost forgot, heres the link
http://getbackgirlfriend.blogspot.com/
Good luck!
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